i'm so goddamn sick of the sentiment like "allistic people think that the way autistic people think and communicate is rude but ACTUALLY allistic people are universally rude by their nature of not being autistic"

please note that what i'm not saying is "people generally venting about their oppressors is bad", do not put that shit on me. what i'm saying is that picking out specific allistic behaviours and saying "these things aren't aligned with the values i have and share with the people like me, and therefore they're objectively bad" doesn't help anybody

the problem is not and has never been "there are two groups of people who are Different From Each Other", it's "allistic people assume everyone is like them and are unwilling or unable to compromise and adjust expectations". when autistic people are labeled as rude or weird it's emblematic of the issue but doing it back just fundamentally misrepresents what the issue is

like people online will post "why do allistic people [X]" and get a thoughtful response describing the specific way it's intended to perform some role in society and why allistic people choose it over whatever the implied "here's what an autistic person would do" behaviour

and i feel like the correct response to that would be "oh, thank you, i understand a little better, it still doesn't exactly sit right with me but i can recognize that it's being done with intention by and for people who think differently than i do"

not "well that doesn't fit my values so actually it's Objectively Shitty" like fuck who died and made you king, other people do value those things and that's not a flaw with them that you're cool and brave enough to not have

the perfect world dream scenario isn't "everyone is like me" it's "people are willing to work together to figure out how to best interact with people who aren't like them"